Archive for September, 2008

Happiness 2.0

September 29, 2008

My 7 day trial version of happiness
expired on Friday
They had promised me 21 days
I guess I clicked a wrong button
now it won’t make me happy anymore

I spoke to their representative
A nice lady with a nice accent
She asked me to pay $19.95
for one year of happiness
version 2.3

She said she liked my name
my voice was hot too
so she threw in some love
version 1.6
for only $10 extra

She asked me for my credit card number
I don’t have credit card I said
I have a debit card
Suddenly she did not sound so nice
my voice was not so hot either

I searched the forums for a hack
which would allow me
a few more days of free happiness
But most tried to sell me Viagra and crack
None of them offered Prozac

I have my own shop now
Sell happiness from Juneau to Japan
If you don’t have credit cards, even debit cards will do
I also take post dated checks
Even a friendly hug will do


The Keys

September 15, 2008

You have forgotten
the keys you gave me
on a bright summer day.
I was never invited
But told to visit when I felt like

That was in March
and now its December
Hunched against the wind
I have come like a thief
I know you are out

I take my shoes off
and walk on your carpet
It rubs between my toes
as I walk around the room
Look at your pictures on the shelf

I sit at the dining table
wondering how you look
when sunlight streams on to you
through the windows
on early winter mornings

In the kitchen, near the oven
I imagine you leaning
against the counter
as you tell me over the phone
of the dinner you burnt

I climb the stairs
peep into your study
at your desk I see you write
One door I leave untouched
some doors even love can’t open

I wonder if you will notice
one missing picture from so many
I take the skeletons out of your cupboard
lock the door behind me
and throw the keys as I walk away

The Search Engine’s Lament

September 12, 2008

Someday all your questions will be answered
Everything you search for will be found
All that is written will be indexed
And every photograph will be tagged

Every music file you covet will be uploaded
That movie DVD ripped and seeded for eternity
No more software will you look for
Nothing left to execute

Malware and viruses will be history
A cult of hackers commit hara-kiri
For no passwords will be used
It will all be out in the open

Then I will rest my crawlers
My indexers I shall idle
The rotten caching of pages can stop
For no one will ever care

No more queries will you ask of me
No more reason to know me
Not that I shall miss you
As I lay me down to sleep